Time to Shrine

-

                                shrines 12"x3'                                       self-portrait 14"x20"


                It's been a while since I've decided to write. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's been months. Days seem to fly by so unannounced these days...this weightlessness and tumbling and turning...I find myself surprised when another month appears.

                I started making shrines a few months back. It wasn't a conscious decision, I just found some free wood on an alley walk one morning...and it started like that. I've had art supplies at my side my entire life (priorities!), so I had no shortage on materials once the 'canvas' presented itself.

                I was raised by parents who were raised Catholic. I was not. I was, however, imprinted with a strong love of the Virgin of Guadalupe. She always felt so safe, loving, and protective. I think that with everything we've been experiencing, from Covid to forest fires, our political system to our racial injustices...well, it feels like we are in High order for some serious LOVE towards ourselves and others. It's funny to realize, but my most recent delve into art (folk art) has been a personal pursuit to find and express love and protection.

                Life has felt extremely lifey to me this year. Losing Henry last spring keeps opening up new worlds to me. I have found myself completely disoriented by no longer being an active 'mom' to a 14 year old boy. A very VERY big part of me feels lost. And so, it's time to evolve into whatever is next for me...and this feels so wildly unexpected. 

              I have a beautiful and incredible 20 year old daughter that I get to focus on. I have an amazing niece with a brand new little baby boy I get to spend time with most weeks. I have my family and friends who also use their art (of choice) to find their way through this complicated time. 

             Today I will finish up my Self-Portrait (the last piece on the right). It includes some of my favorite things I've received over the years. These are all items that I've been keeping safe in little places around my room...and now they will be all together, a collection of what makes me, Me. I'm hoping to start doing this for others...it feels timely and personal. 

             I hope to pop in here a little more often ~ it feels good to write again, to connect. That's why we're here, I believe. To connect ~ to love. Sending my love and hope for peace to all of us ~ I think we could all use a little more. I know I could. 

*Materials used:  wood, paint, brass, glitter, glass, feathers, plastic tabs, drawing from Bella as a child, shells, tiles, small fabric pin, ceramic butterflies, affirmations from my sister, and resin.


 

Popular posts from this blog

Growing into Consciousness

-
Image
   It's been a minute since I've sat down to write. Not for a lack of subject matter, more out of a deep desire or need to just Be Here Now. Yep, I've been on the deepest of dives into what it means to be human, alive, and semi-self aware. This morning, while on an Eckhart Tolle youtube binge, I heard him say something that Really struck a chord,           "If things don't get difficult, there's no Growth in Consciousness." I used to live in a pretty serious amount of Fear around worthiness. I imagined that 'you'd' like me better if I embellished a little. Later, I got myself into some rather sticky situations, and learned that flat out Lying also worked. LOL. Worked?! Yeah, it worked to get me to the place of no longer trusting or even Believing in myself. I started fretting over whether or not my stories might unintentionally get mixed up, overlap, or seem flat out ridiculous. Throw a little wine on any story, and it's an impossible situa
Read more

Henry's Fever - a found journal entry from January 25th, 2015

-
Image
  Us ~ January 2014 (a year before writing this post) 1.25.2015 Henry has a fever. After spending most of the afternoon curled up on the couch, a tiny ball underneath an old quilt I bought this summer at a garage sale down the street, he is finally up and eating. He sits straight up in his little chair - not quite a high chair, but almost, as if there were a rod pierced down the center of his spine.  I have come to almost enjoy when the children are feverish. There is something so ‘other worldly’ about their behavior. It’s as if they are in some kind of limbo between this and another parallel universe. They are shadows of themselves. Alternate versions. He is in a waking dream and I am one of his characters. His head pops up, “I have to go to the bathroom!” and he jumps up and quickly heads to the door.  “Do you have to go pee or poop?” I ask. He pauses at the doorway, “Um…You should say, ‘One or Two’”. “Okay”, I agree, “Do you have to go One or Two?” “Which one is One?” he asks. “Pee”
Read more

rethinking the 'look good'

-
Image
little me in the first grade ~  I was already aware of the 'look good' at age seven. I can remember the photographer urging me to smile big, show my teeth! But I hated my little teeth and the gap between my two front teeth. My solution? Just hide them. Easy enough. Only, there is so much more going on when one tries to hide from the rest of the world. The thinking behind it all for me has always been this: what if I show you all my 'ugly' parts and you realize that I'm just not special enough to deserve your time, attention, or love? It's a self-protection move, of course. Being the youngest of five children, with three of my siblings being older sisters, I was keenly aware of some of their struggles around confidence and self-esteem, and hoped to learn from them, so as not to incur any unnecessary hurt. Sounds smart, right? Only, I had no idea what path I was setting myself on at the time. First it was my teeth, then the darkness of skin, my weigh
Read more