MS, love, and my life

me today ~ 11.15.18  It's been a big few weeks since deciding to turn my life around. Well, maybe it's not really  that dramatic, but I have changed quite a few things. I've changed my diet, my ideas around what I can and can't do in my new body, my attitude regarding my health and wellness, and my willingness to dive deeper into some messier old emotions. So yeah, I've basically changed a huge chunk of who I consider myself to be. It's wild that it's that simple to make changes, isn't it? One day, you just say to yourself, I'm ready.  In reality, the first week was pretty hard. I felt hungry, bloated, and irritable. I was eating more vegetables than I've had since I lived with my parents. No joke. I started weaning off the gluten, sugar, dairy, and caffeine. My stomach lost the bloat. My energy increased. Most importantly, my symptoms (pain, fatigue, and soreness throughout the day) seem to be milder. Oh, and I sleep like a r

old pic of me in my birth town, san francisco ~ I sometimes wish that life continued to be as easy (decision/responsibility free) as it was when I was a kid. My mom would prepare all the meals, sew my clothes up when they tore, remind me to brush my teeth, tuck me in bed, and kiss me goodnight. Sure, I had to help clean the house, but I actually liked doing chores. I remember feeling proud of good work done. Sometimes I'd be lazy and just spray the windex in the bathroom, as if it were room spray, and pretend like I'd cleaned. I always felt guilty though when my mom would come in to check and turning to me smiling, say, "Mmm! Smells clean to me!"  In a nano-second I went from feeling super bad-ass to super lame. I didn't do this very often, the guilt was too great for me to bear.  How did I become the one in charge?  Sometimes it comes so naturally. I hear myself calling my son to the table for breakfast. I see myself helping him pick up his