all for now~

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It's a funny feeling when you can tell that something has run its course. Sometimes it can be extraordinarily painful and heartbreaking, other times it's as if a heavy load you didn't even realize you've been carrying, has been magically lifted.

This is neither of those times.

This is only me deciding that I'm done writing so publicly for now. From beginning to end, it's been an amazingly therapeutic undertaking for me. I like/hate that I decided to walk through my life so open and honestly. I like that I took on something that scared the shit out of me, and I did it anyhow. I hate that being so transparent allowed me to see how self-judgmental and critical I can still be with myself. I didn't expect this to happen, or I'm guessing I wouldn't have dove in.

It's been a shit couple of years for me and those closest to me. I suppose we all get our turn with hardship at one time or another, right? It's almost ludicrous that the world keeps spinning when something devastating happens, yet it does. And we manage. We wake up, get dressed, eat, work, love, fight, laugh, smile, and the world keeps spinning. We learn more about who we are, what matters to us, and who we want to share our lives with. In this scenario I simply took you along for the ride.

Before starting my blog, I didn't question my motives at all. It just sounded, or felt really, like the right thing to do. I never knew what I was going to write about until I sat down in front of my computer. If something didn't just flow, it was discarded. I didn't want my writing to be an edited version of myself. Which wasn't always easy. But it was the agreement I'd made with myself at the beginning. I'm glad I stuck to it. And now it feels right to let this go. Thanks for reading~ xoM

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