MS, love, and my life

beautiful  I've had a hard time writing lately. I feel hyper self-critical. I keep waiting for this to pass, but I've decided to try a new approach and see if I can just write through it. I went to the movies today. I decided to make things easy on myself, and park in the nearby covered parking. I've been going into this lot since I was a little girl, back in the mid-70's. I got to the downtown theater a few minutes early, and decided to buy a popcorn in Henry's honor, I guess. This was my first time at the Metro theater, and it was pretty cool, very new for Eugene, Or.  I don't want to say too much about the film other than Henry would've been out of his MIND over it. It was beautiful. I finally understood what my son always saw in Joker's character. He was the underdog, the freak, the one the other's didn't want to play with. Henry got this. He'd been stared at for looking different since he was a baby. People would often sa...

me and my hair ~  Such a simple and pure concept. Honesty . And yet, not always so easy to attain. Because there are requirements, right? One has to know themselves well enough to know when they are actually being honest. How easy it is to float through life acting as if each and every thought, action, and reaction come from our clear intention! But more often than not, other things come into play. We might unknowingly be acting out of past hurts or unresolved resentments , oblivious to any ill intent on our part. And then everything unravels, and we are left bare and confused - what happened? And this is why pause is so critical. In order for me to have any hope of knowing my own motives, I know (now) that I have to step back when things feel messy. I have to get quiet. I have no business reacting without taking this critical step. Otherwise, I am more than likely to simply react. My pride will jump into the foreground and hustle to find a way in which I might lo...